“Married for 40th Years”

The exact moment forty years ago was in 1975. Down at the creek, he was watching the water flow or keeping cool from the summer heat. I had just returned from Spokane where I was shopping for 16 penny nails, 2 X 4 boards, sheetrock, and food. We had a cabin on twenty acres in Fruitland, Washington that we were building.

He said, “Do you want to live together? Take it day by day?”

Of course I did. It was magical. The two of us working, loving, playing, cultivating a relationship day by day.

Now it is forty years later and we are visiting our cabin. Every nail we’ve hit, every song we’ve sung, every dance we’ve waltzed, every scrabble board we’ve played, every crosswords we’ve filled and every bear we’ve crossed. We’ve been there for each other.

I met a women the other day who recently lost her husband to an illness. She loved him so much. He was a friend, a buddy and now he was gone. She was trying to move forward without this relationship. I heard her story and I thought I was so lucky to have my friend, my buddy still with me. To not have him here next to me. Oh, that would be a loss.

Life gives us many disasters to overcome and either you do it together or you do it alone. I believe that there is a mighty bond that two people can have over the course of forty years. It is worth every moment. To physically love that other being, to support that other being, to fight to understand what they need, to unravel why they do the things they do, to totally be yourself to that other being, to unconditionally love another human being are the greatest gifts that you might have after forty years or more.

Author: susan

Susan Carr is a professional actress and singer performing in New York, Los Angeles and Seattle. Her film/TV credits include Lynn, Shelton's Laggies, Mike Mill's The Architecture of Reassurance, Rob Devor's ZOO, Paul Sorvino's That Championship Season, The Practice and Gilmore Girls. Susan has written many plays/screenplays that have been performed at Seattle Fringe Festivals, Bumbershoot and New City's New Works Festival. Susan is the vocal coach to many Grammy winning bands such as Macklemore, Alice in Chains, The Head & The Heart, Alien Ant Farm, Mastodon, The President of the United States and new up and coming bands, Hey Marseilles, Chelsea Wolf, and Pickwick. Susan teaches "The Art of Screaming!" The Ballad of Desiree is Susan's first novel.

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